A Very Vulnerable State of Mind and Emotions (When the Heart Wants What it Wants)

²³ Above all else, guard your heart,
    for everything you do flows from it.

Proverbs 4:23 NIV

This blog right here is dedicated to the lonely.  It's dedicated to the broken-hearted who wants some type of relief from the pain with finding a new love.  This blog is for any desperate heart looking for another like-minded heart to connect with.

One of my weaknesses as a woman is wanting the attention of a man.  Just keeping it real.  It was heightened when my heart was in a vulnerable,
broken state.  Some men prey on that...not all of them though.  That frame of mind has sent me to some dark places and some alleys I never
thought I would come out of.  I'm beautiful and I'm fine and you want me to be your only one?  Those words worked if you add just a tiny bit of
swag and attention with it.  It never occurred to me how naive my heart was beating.  It never crossed my mind that truth lies in actions,
words, and Spirit. 

People on the outside looking in brought it to my attention.  They couldn't understand why I couldn't see what they saw in me.  Although my
actions warranted the results I was getting, my true heart only
wanted true love.  Someone who could see my complicated heart, and get it.  That's it.  My sensitivity and my insecurity was an open door for
men to take advantage of me (and I let them).  This lead me to more
heartbreak than I could take.  But GOD. :)

Even though I didn't know it at the time, God was working a revelation on the inside of me that would change my life forever!

It didn't happen overnight.  It didn't happen when I found true love.  True love only distracted my weakness with it's joy. 
In fact it stopped for a long time once I was happy, but as soon
as the heart would harden my heart would revert back to the vulneablities of time passed.  Each relationship, each chapter of my life would prove
to be a learning STEPPING stone.  Even the different seasons of marriage would prove to be a learning stepping stone.  Along the way God would
say "Guard Your Heart" or I'm better than that. I couldn't comprehend it.  Prehaps, I thought I didn't deserve it, but I know
now in hindsight that Word helped me to overcome.

After dealing with the wrong people for a minute, I couldn't figure out why I couldn't "keep" love or get married.  It's funny how you can look
at everyone BUT yourself to blame love on.  It's funny how you can even PUT yourself down so much that you talk yourself and your guy out of loving
you too.  So, one night I took it to the balcony of my apartment building at that time.  The backdrop of the city lights illuminated my heart to
be so open to God.  After a pity party of tears, I uttered the three words that would change the trejectory of my life forever.

"I Give Up."

It's like the Lord was waiting on me to say that so HE could dispatch the angels to give me the gift of true love.  A short time after, I noticed
my now husband.  :)  Fast forward now to 16 years, 2 kids, a whole bunch of drama, a separation, a whole bunch of joy,  a whole bunch of laughter,
and God still
graces me with that gift.

The important lesson for anyone waiting on love is to do it God's way. Even if you have to wait and wait, trust God's will for your life.  It
won't always be easy, but nothing worth it ever will be.  Keeping love and being married is not always easy, but it's worth it.  The greatest
fight of your life is the fight for love (and that's all aspects of love relationships in your life).  My kids make it hard at times, but I would
line up again for them to be our kids.

Action Steps:
1.  Recognize your way to love ain't working.
2.  Recognize that no one else is to blame anymore.  This is your life.  You chose to stay in mess or be mistreated.  You can't control no
one else or their reactions, but you can control your own reactions. 
3.  Recognize that God is the only one who can fill the void in your heart and the aching in your soul. (not sex, food, alcohol, drugs, etc.)
4.  Recognize loneliness is a good thing at times as it gives you time to WORK on yourself to be all that and a bag of chips for the day he/she
does come into your life.
5.  Guard your heart because everyone doesn't deserve to be in that space.  But don't be so guarded that you miss your blessing!
6.  Give it over to God and ask for forgiveness.  Repent (turn) towards a more healthy way to have love because you deserve it.  You deserve it!
This takes time but just start with baby steps. 
God is with you every step.
7.  Trust God for your divine connection. God sees what we don't.  God sees the whole picture.  God has a plan for our lives-a good plan.  A
future rich with love and peace.  But you got to have faith.  Faith and works.  Go out and enjoy life without even looking for once. (works)
Then mix that up with the faith as small as mustard seed in your heart, believing that God will bring true love your way. (fatih) 

Can't wait to see the next great love story like the one in the Bible of Boaz & Ruth! 

Did this blog post bless your heart?  Well, let me know about your love journey!  We all got a story to tell...Let me know in the comments
below.

Love Your Favorite Life Coach,

Andrea "g" Williams